Summer in Spring

Pine tree branches wave gently
in the breeze
that only exists in the shade.
Standing on asphalt
it’s hot,
so hot.
The sun beats down,
baking me,
just for having the gall to step outside,
finding no reprieve by that elusive shade wind.

I can feel the skin cancer
under my sunscreen,
the sharp burn and prickle
on my skin
after so many months of winter.

Sweat beads form on my upper lip.
It’s this hot now,
I can only imagine
what July will be like.

July,
mmmmmm.
That sweet middle
month of summer
when everything is hot to the touch
and there is no escaping.
Nature assaults in the opposite way
it did from six months ago.
Too much heat,
too much light,
too many tourists.

But I am reminded of summer
by the smell of the earth
as the soil renews itself with life,
by the bees flitting in lazy circles,
buzzing and humming softly in my ears,
by the distant barking of neighborhood dogs,
by the droning of air conditioning units nearby,
by the rushing of highway traffic in the distance.

The air of summer has returned
for today,
before the chill of spring returns tomorrow.
Memories
of summer’s from when I was younger
and school was out
and I wandered the neighborhood roads
or went to cross country practice
and sucked on brightly colored popsicles
to beat the heat away.
I had not too many worries,
just that there weren’t enough days of summer
and that school seemed to be never ending.

Milestones that seemed much farther away
than they were
looking back on it now.
Milestones that seemed more like
obstacles.
Something to overcome
to get to the next
milestone
to get to
“the rest of my life”.

And what is that life now?
Now that I am older
and have realized life simply isn’t
what everyone makes it out to be.
Sure,
I live in the moment,
appreciate where I am at now.
Most days
I wouldn’t go back
to do it again.

But some days,
days like this,
when the nostalgia hits me
even though I am hardly sentimental,
on days like this,
when the trees sway in the breeze,
and the birds chirp above me,
and that glorious sun
has come out to remind me
of easier times,
it’s all I can do
but wish to go back
and do it all again.

To really feel those moments,
those sweet, summer moments
of my childhood.
Still,
the heatwave in spring,
the sun kissing my skin now,
my dogs basking in the warmth of it on the porch,
there’s a peace to it I can enjoy,
now.

And for a moment,
my nerves calm from the stress
of just being alive,
of paying bills
and working an unfulfilling, undesirable job.
Mother Nature reminds me:
Life is beginning again
and will be in full swing once more,
soon enough.

Soon enough,
the sun will come
and make everything right,
soon enough.